Trust

Main Entry: pe·do·phile
Pronunciation: 'pEd-&-"fIl, 'ped-
Variant: or chiefly British pae·do·phile /'pEd-/
Function: noun
: one affected with pedophilia called also pedophiliac
Pedophilia: sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object

Main Entry: paedophile
n : an adult who is sexually attracted to children [syn: pedophile]

And so the teacher at the centre of the Kelly row suggests that he is not a paedophile, and therefore does not pose a risk to children.

I tend to disagree.

Paedophilia is not a disease, nor an ailment. It cannot be cured. It is a sexual preference and like all sexual preferences it is up to that person whether or not they can control their sexual urges. In 1980, he was 34 and an adult. With adult desires. The pupil he was convicted of assaulting was 15.

Whether or not she consented, or whether or not she was the one pursuing the fact still remains that she was an underage child and that by acting on any impulse he abused a position of authority. I appreciate that it is in no way as black and white as that, and that I am in no way an expert on the human mind psychologically or physically, yet I have lived in the shadow of the fallout of a paedophile’s advances. I know what the emotional scars can do.

At 15 years of age, regardless of how worldly I felt and how mature for my age I was, I was still 15. Not completely developed mentally, physically, psychologically and in no way prepared for the emotional complications of a relationship with a much older man. I can only speak for myself, and not for the above, who went on to marry, have 3 children and maintain their relationship for a further 19 years.

All the power to them.

But the facts are still thus. Whereas he may never pose another threat to children, he was at one time attracted to a one. He may yet again and therein lay the risks. He says he is not a paedophile, and he will not “re-offend”.
He may not, it is not uncommon for an offender to assault one victim over a prolonged period of time and never re-offend.

So does he deserve to continue to teach? No. If not only for the sake of his own security and safety.

Young women are incredibly impressionable, or so I was at that time. The relationships we form with our tutors and teachers are incredibly precarious and are a cornerstone in forming the relationships we build in future, at that age I know I pushed the boundaries to see how far I could go. It is easy to develop that spark, that crush, ready to embark on a great love affair. In truth I struggle to believe that at that age we have the emotional capability to understand our desires, let alone the full appreciation of what it is to conduct a sexual relationship (let alone enjoy it).

And so if we cannot trust in our elders to act responsibly and morally, how then are we to develop stable relationships in future?