Monday, May 29, 2006

No more Hooky Thursdays...

Because I am now employed.

Well, I will be. Starting Thursday.
The offer arrived this morning. With a higher salary than I expected. With paid overtime. Paid overtime, I say. And a bonus. And full benefits package. And a little office right schmack downtown in Vancouver. On the 22nd floor with a view to die for.

And the irony is so sweet, that as most of my family and friends will tell you I cannot hold onto money for longer than a day, that for the last few years I have been scrimping and scrounging, hardly able to make ends meet and unable to utter the mantra *It is okay to want to make money* without breaking out into a cold sweat and feeling as if I was betraying myself and taking the slippery slope to becoming a capitalist.

I am working in investment banking.


So sadly there shall be no more Hooky Thursday, reading the paper on the beach and tearing up the boulevards of Kits on my bike. There will be no more midday Myspace fix.

But there will be fabulous shoes... long hours and high stress.

I can't wait!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Hooky Thursday

Because my eyes are feeling fuzzy and I am tired of writing long emails about how professional and organised, and what my strengths are, and why I am so adept at multi-tasking and client interaction, I have decided it is Hooky Thursday.

Hooky Thursday started last Thursday, after the horrifically foul journey across Skytrain to Burnaby to clear my freight which appeared in a warehouse. Hurrah! Not so hurrah after the mean old customs lady took a power trip on her high horse. Which resulted in me having to persuade her to accompany me to my pallet and open my boxes in order to get proof I have been out of the country for the last 9 years. But anyway, I digress. Because that is another story. Because The Pirates have lost my incredibly heavy and incredibly large table. And bed frame. Somewhere between London, Sheffield, the fucking ocean and Montréal.

And so, Thursday started off as any other morning, luckily there were no interviews which was a good thing as after my disastrous interview with the Intellectuals I had started crying on the bus on my way home, desperately homesick for London and feeling not unlike a worthless unemployed homeless, albeit fabulously shoe'ed, failure.
Crying. Real tears.

And so en route to purchase a new bike lock,I just keep walking.
Down Burrard and past Canadian Tire. Onto Cornwall. And finally, the beach. Flipflops in hand, and the perfect spot. Hooky Thursday is born. (As is a fantastic case of sunburn, British mentality et al. My shoulders are still a lovely shade of "Ouch Crimson")

So today is Hooky Thursday will involve a bike ride to Stanley Park, and as it has been raining, most likely no beach stops. Sadly. But I encourage you all to put down what you are doing and play Hooky every Thursday. Even if it is only for a few moments.

So before I head out, helmet in hand and a prayer that I shall not fall off said bicyclette, a few things I have been reading.

Anna wrote a great post a few weeks back, which is worth re-reading, if only to stir up a bit of debate. I have to admit I was really surprised at the flippancy some people admitted to. Is this really what our society has come to?

Also Léonie directed us to this, which riled quite a few of the GLoWB's and made my blood in particular boil. And then I had to laugh, as Ms Reid suggests that tattoes are a form of self harm and I realised the tattoo on my ankle covers a self harming scar. Now that, that, I find ironic.

The Graudian launches its World Cup Podcast - how excited am I by the World Cup? Far too much apparently. Go Ennngerrrland. Yes. England. I shall not tell my Welsh parents or my Canadian amigos.

And Ben and Tony are back where they are best.
On the ice. Doing icy things. With ice and snow.

And so tomorrow's great feast, if I get back to my little abode in one piece, will be all about firemen and how I am turning into the crazy cat lady, why I love protestors, the decision on those 2 jobs where offers are apparently about to be made, and how I lost my temper for the first time in years and learnt a new swear word in the pouring rain. And how there are some hot painters in the hallway... hopefully I shall not be overcome by the noxious paint and have to call the firemen whilst holding my wailing cat...

Monday, May 22, 2006

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. Mel Brooks

Sometimes we twist and turn, take different roads and paths so many times that we get turned around. Can't see where we started, or where we've been. Sometimes we can't see what's ahead of us for all we're worth, can only stand still and stagnant at a crossroad while everything else around us spins.

And sometimes those twists and turns take you down another path, past what wasn't expected, what has been there for so long if only we could listen to truths whispered in the back of our minds.

And then something clicks, when you're curled up beside someone who isn't what you wanted after all, who changed in a heartbeat and a hand brushing you aside felt like a slap in the face. When you're laying there thinking your best line of defence is so rehearsed, that you should never settle, never give up, keep fighting for your beliefs and for your desires. When you realise that you are better than this place, this moment, that there are a million and one more things for you to do and see and that this, this one moment, should no longer define you. When you realise your best advice is the one you keep forgetting.

I used to keep a copy of this on the back of my door. Reading and rereading. Thinking how my own vixen, the elusive Mme Mojo has slowed down, gone outside for a quick fag and a coffee, and how despite my best intentions has not really come back to me in all her glory.

That for my entire life, I had been pressing Fast Forward, had been in a rush to get to the good stuff that I missed out on all that came between.

And something clicked when I realised that the man beside me was no longer that same man that had pursued me, had held me a year ago, and kissed me with promise. That when the playing field changed, so did he with a cold indifference that I knew. He was no longer what I had remembered, was not what I wanted. Had simply become someone who I had so desperately needed to get out of my system so that I could move on.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Boqueria, Las Ramblas Barcelona

I inadvisedly went out with The Actor last night, graced the seedy pubs of Gastown with my presence and made new friends with the bartenders over shots of sambucca.
Needless to say, words are not coming easy to me at this point so I am going to share some pretty pictures with you that I took in el mercat, Boqueria in Barcelona.

I'm a bit old school, I do have a digital and I'm getting to grips with it but I really like film, and still use it. I have a great battered old Canon T70 which I love and these were taken with that.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Aussie Pimoti*

"Surely you know better than that? I mean you did see right through that...?!"

The Nurse turns to me incredulous, almost steers the Mazda into the protesters at Eagleridge Bluffs.

"Didn't you?"

Sheepishly I take a sip of coffee, look back over the bluffs.

"Yeah... but..." I try to protest.

Nurse looks at me in disbelief.

I'm supposed to be on an internet ban, supposed to be staying away from email but as it turns out a piece I wrote an introduction for some months before was being published on Saturday, and I just had to check.

What I got, instead of the pdf file for my cuttings, was the Brush Off. And in the form of A Brush Off Email. ABOE. From the Aussie Pimoti.

It reads a little like this...
"I had a lovely time last night... you are a very cool girl..."

And before I even finish the first sentence, I know there's a big old but coming up to bite me on mine.


There it is...

Granted, he had been honest. Over Grey Goose and far too many glasses of liquid courage, he had confessed the following:

1) I was his first ever blind date.
2) He was recently divorced.
3) His wife had left him for another man.

Now, it's not all that bad. The man was not a quivering wreck. In truth, he was charming. And funny. And smart. And he had built me a cake. A little blueberry concoction with a liquorice straw which had been the source of countless email witticisms and hours of instant messaging. I am an internet junkie.

And we didn't stop talking over drinks at Granville Island, in the Aquabus over to English Bay. Sat on the beach and traded banter, teased each other mercilessly.

And then in a rash moment, I decided to go back with a take out and a bottle of wine. And he sat behind me on his green couch, with his hand on my neck telling tales. Held my face and kissed me, made promises and plans and I swear those butterflies took flight.

"I'm sorry if I appeared a little strange this morning..." ABOE continues. "It just hit home there are a few more issues I need to work out..."

He had gently warned me, that morning with his arms wrapped around me, of this. Had walked me home and kissed me, had asked me to keep it cool. And I lay my cards down, I'm also in a transitional phase, let's take this one day at a time.

And so ABOE. From the Aussie Pimoti.

Nurse looks at me knowingly, I have been here before. Worn my battered heart on a sleeve, been too trusting, too open from the get go, rushed in without armour. Had done that whole getting to know him through emails and phone calls, through witty first date banter and found something I wasn't really ready for.

Everything is of benefit, everything is a lesson** and so this one has to be learned again.

We all need a little armour in battle, but not so much as we all need a little armour when it comes to affairs of the heart.


*PIMOTI - Person (or people) I've met on the Internet, cheekily pulled from Leonie and Miss Devylish but I have a sneaking suspicion I may have heard it before from someone else...

**Okay. Yes. I know. I bloody well know. I should just chuck this whole internet dating thing in the trash. I should just give up now. Become celibate. But celibacy also makes me a bit on the crazy side.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Intervention comes in the form of this.

A long, long, long weekend away with the lovely Scooter and Nurse Kelly, where we won't talk about jobs. Or interviews. Or boys. Or MySpace.

I'm going cold turkey. I won't have my laptop with me. I won't have access to any internet connections at all. The thought is terrifying me slightly, I like to take you all with me. I like to know what you all are doing, I am going to miss you. Five whole days without the internet. Five whole days without you. Without MySpace.

But as Scooter, my oldest, dearest and the sugardaddy of my gay husbands, is treating me, I can't quite complain. There shall be relaxation, the company of my dearest friends and long walks around the lake. The pure unspoiled beauty of the Sea to Sky highway. And the best bit of all, we're staying at a Spa. Any over consumption of vodka can be holistically removed. Bliss, I say. Bliss.

So goodbye for a few days. I shall miss you all...

Have a great weekend, all of you.


Must be all that practice...

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Monday, May 08, 2006

Unemployed, penniless, well spoken Executive Assistant seeks...

A job.

Please, Buddha. Now.

There are some serious downsides to unemployment. Namely the lack of money. Which as the seasons are a changing and my London wardrobe seems a tad fussy for Vancouver, means that although I am still living out of suitcase, the suitcase is much smaller as my wardrobe seems to have been depleted somewhat. And there are some beautiful things in the windows now. When I expressed concern about Vancouver having no style, I now apologise.

Past those dress jeans, trainers, fleece and LuluLemon, there is a rebellion starting. And it is beautifully dressed.

And as Customs Pirates have confiscated my freight and are holding it against its will until I can cough up the money to free it, I have had to make another sheepish call to my father.

*Please, Pop... can I borrow some more?*

The chalk marks of what I owe are fast adding up, which is making me glum. And despite the fact I seem to be a hot ticket and am interviewing on average at least once a day, I'm bored solid with the questions. And the research preparation. And the smiling and talking and dressing up.

But that's really not the reason why I need a job.

No, no, no... not at all.

The real reason why I need a job is because I have succumbed to an addiction.
And that addiction is MySpace.

At any one time, on my browser, I have internet search options and employment websites, Hotmail and MySpace open. And I can't help but peek and tweak my profile. Search for cool people who live near me, make some new internet friends and flirt IM outrageously.

It is all dragging me into a deep abyss of darkness and I am powerless to resist.

Only employment, vodka or an intervention can help me overcome this terrible addiction.

Help me...

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Save a horse, ride a cowboy...

Because I am far too hung over, and there are a few stories that need to be told but my head hurts far too much and I am riding the waves of death and I was depressed for two whole days because of that whole unemployment pallava currently occupying my life, and I had a dreadful interview and I didn't get one of those jobs I was waiting on and I'm still waiting to hear on the other and Tony told me never to date an Actor and of course I never listen to advice and The Actor did the unforgivable by semi standing me up last night and I'm scratching my head about that one and will then promptly move on because that is far too much like bad manners and disrespectful, I'll tell the story later because I ended up having such an amazingly fun time with my sister which involved free drinks and shooters and dancing outrageously with much much younger college boys who were so damned cute to "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" and a drink called a "Chi-Chi". And believe me there are some funny stories from last night as well. And of course, the inappropriate snogging of someone whose name I don't think I got before The Gorgeous and I fell into a waiting cab and I dropped my pizza and The Gorgeous just kept repeating "Protein" to the guy in the pizza shop when he asked her what she wanted. I will learn. I will grow up. Some day.


So anyway, Helen Boaden, Head of News at BBC, has come under fire for not being able to list the blogs she reads daily and Emily Bell (my old boss and an incredibly phenomenal lady) has written a great piece in Editor's Week so check it out here.

I also used to link to Miss Doxie, but for some reason I missed her off my last edit, so have rightfuly restored her to my Blogroll.

I'd link to what else I'm reading but you really don't want to be reading or Workopolis or researching companies that I am meeting with next week because I can attest it is dull as fuck.

And I'm now off to a wedding shower, a 'round the world wine tasting (we're representing South Africa with Van Loveren (we met these guys at the London Wine Festival, and I dragged them off to world's cheesiest club for cheap beer and bad music, I am class) and an evening full of further debauchery and naughtiness at a club on 4th with the girls.

I'm sure you can buy new livers on ebay, yes?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Potter and Malfoy in shock embrace! The real story here.

As I said, I likes a little scandal and as I found this little tidbit from Mikey, I had to share.

Needless to say, I'm loving that angle, I wonder if Rowling ever thought of that!

Me me me me me me me me me...

Okay, I was rubbish at this. I was supposed to come up with some questions but I didn't so I'll have to hand it to the Gorgeous Ladies of Worldwide Blogging who came up with all these questions and Miss Devylish who organised it all...

1. What is the dish you take to every potluck?
Can’t remember the last time I went to potluck, but would have to say my signature dish would be my chocolate ginger torte. It is sex. Yum.

2. Have you ever seen or felt a ghost, angel, spirit, or some sort of other-worldy being? Yes, I am a firm believer in angels and I know my dad’s dad has had a busy timelooking after me. Sometimes I just know he’s there.

3. Would you rather never workout again and be skinny forever or be able to work out whenever you wanted to and be a little overweight?
Would love to be skinny, but I also love working out. It keeps my head clear. So can I be greedy and have both please?

4. What is the hardest thing you think you've experienced so far?

Parole hearings and court cases. That's a whole other story.

5. Do you like Snoopy or Woodstock better?
Never been a Peanuts fan, but maybe Woodstock because he’s yellow.
I’m just not that into cartoons.

6. Can you talk and eat at the same time? And if so, can people understand you?
Only between bites, ha! Can anyone ever understand what I’m saying?!

7. If you could be good at any profession, which would you choose and why?

I want to be an exceptional travel writer/ anthropologist, because it incorporates all that I love.
Writing and travel, experiencing new cultures and people. I’d be the “off the beaten track” girl, writing about undiscovered places and doing something humanitarian that would bring value to the community.

8. Would you rather be a Playboy bunny or a Hooters girl?

Playboy bunny definitely – they have some cute ass tails. And are a little classier than the Hooters.

9. Peanut butter – crunchy or smooth?

10. Bad boys, frat boys, intellectuals or dorks?
Ooooh, I have a weakness for bad boys but they’re always bad news, frat boys have never done it for me, intellectuals, if they’re not pretentious, are a real turn on. Seriously. I love well read well educated men.
And dorks, well… yeah. I’m a closet anorak. But I’m not sure they’d turn me on. Unless he dressed up as Aragorn. Or Boba Fett. Phwoar…

11. Name 6 people, alive or dead, you'd like to invite to dinner.

Vivienne Westwood, Robert Smith, my grandfather, Dorothy Parker, Mae West and Dylan Thomas.
Bring out the whisky… what a conversation and a half.

12. This is a two parter, and be truthful – when you are by yourself, do you get a 6 inch or a 12 inch sandwich from Subway? How about when you are with your friends?
6 inch always. Never a 12 inch. Some things are better left to the professionals. *snickers*

13. What was the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you?
My sister used to sit on me and pull my fingers and toes until they cracked. Even now the sound of cracking bones makes me all anxious and weird…

14. Location of the best sex you've ever had?
Trying to pinpoint this, I can’t remember. Isn’t that lame? Surely I’ve had the best sex of my life and I’ve forgotten. It’s been a while. Thanks for pointing that one out.
I’m not sure I’ve had it yet, see number 24.

15. Oddest place you've ever had sex?

On the deck of my boyfriend’s boat. In a marina in Vancouver. I’ve never been a car sex girl. Maybe I’m just a prude?!

16. If you were super drunk, and REALLY had to pee, but all the toilets were being used, would you consider alternate receptacles, i.e. the mens, outside, a sink?
The men’s… yes. Outside or in a sink, no. I have issues.

17. If you had to pick, classical or jazz?

18. What's your favorite kind of pizza?
It depends on my mood, I’m too indecisive! But today, 4 cheese and mushroom. Yum.

19. Ever flirted with a friend's significant other?
I flirt with everyone so probably, but never in a predatory way. I’d never do it to mean it, if you knows what I means. That’s just not on.

20. What was the blog site or blog post that began your interest in blogging? Please add the site name and link to specific post if possible for completely entertainment purposes.
I worked for Guardian Unlimited, so the GU Newsblog and Ben Hammersley were my first intro’s. Then Anna of Little Red Boat fame, she is still one of my favorites and an incredibly talented lady (and I miss her dreadfully!)

21. Have you ever eaten a whole bag of Marshmallows?

Ick. No. *shudders*

22. Last time you drank so much that you had to throw up?

Um. 4 weeks ago. In a bin. In Barcelona. I’m proper English now, like.

23. Do you have a stupid human trick you can do if you ever get on Dave Letterman? And do tell, if so!

Probably not to get me on David Letterman but I can blow bubbles off my tongue. Gross. Yes.

24. Describe your perfect day.
My perfect day… hmmm, waking up with my lover (after the best sex I’ve ever had, aha!) in some beautiful remote spot, with the sound of the ocean. Fresh coffee and blueberry pancakes. Plenty more of that great sex thing, woo hoo… reading a fabulous book in the hammock before getting the boat out, sailing to a little cove with friends to swim. Having all my friends and family to dinner, where we can all sit outside, eat great food and drink wine with plenty of conversation, No one fights, and everyone gets along, the sun sets and everyone goes home happy, well fed. And I’m fairly sure I get to finish the day with some more of that hot sex thing. Yeah!

25. Do you think the concept of a single best friend is outdated and unrealistic?
Perhaps. I have a network of best friends. They all bring something unique and special to the table, and they have all been around to appreciate the changes in my life.

26. What about the idea of one true love?
Oh yes. I am an old fashioned die hard romantic. One true love. Indeedy. Mine got lost in the post, I think.

27. One of your favorite memories of all time?
Stockholm this year, New Year's Eve. Stood outside the flat, watching the fireworks at midnight and thinking how happy I was in that moment. That that was the start of some new and great adventure.
I was right.

28. What is your least favorite physical feature about yourself?

Er, I’m such a girl. My inner thighs.

29. What's your most favorite?
Oooh, um… either my lips. Or my eyes. Ohhh or my new tattoo. As I said, I’m indecisive.

30. If you had one wish for making the world a better place, what would it be?

That everyone cherished what they had, and took time to appreciate every living being. That everyone saw good in other people and encouraged those qualities.

31. What traits, good and bad, from your family do you possess?

I come from a long line of strong independent women, and my father is a phenomenal man so traits in no particular order would be passion, determination, courage, stubborn pigheadedness, pride, compassion. Each has its good and bad points. I get my pride and courage from my Dad who makes logical decisions (that trait skipped me), from my Mom who think from the heart (yup, I got that one), I get my passion to right the world’s wrongs.

32. When was the last time you played a board game, which one, and with whom?

Chess, with Tom in the garden last year, over drinks. I got annihilated.

33. Name some person/place/thing currently that infuriates you.

My unemployment. Waiting for the phone to ring, attending interviews daily. Just hire me. Please. Pleeeeeeeeease?!?!
And the fact I just received an invoice for $262 from the carriers in Montreal for my freight. I had no idea there'd be more charges.

34. Name some person/place/thing currently that makes you happy, deliriously or otherwise.
When I was writing the draft yesterday, sat on Jericho Beach, I turned and looked at the mountains and realized Vancouver was one of the most beautiful places in the world. And that it was becoming home. I felt things were starting to come together and I realized I was happy. I felt lighter, that it was all going to be okay.

35. Ever been in a car accident? If so, how many and spill the details.
Oh yes. Several. 5 days after getting my little red sports car, I spun it out and took out a lamp post, a railing and perfectly maneuvered the back end into a fence. About a foot away from a swimming pool.

And then driving my other red sports car in the snow, I spun that one out and ended up taking out a clump of trees. Luckily I was okay after both accidents, and there were a few others involving train tracks, ferries, road islands but we don’t have enough time. Needless to say, I don’t drive. And haven’t in 9 years but feel that I have matured (guffaw) enough that I should take some driving lessons and get back on the road. Much to everyone’s horror. But I’ll be good. I know I will…

36. What's your favorite word?
Wobble. Go on, say it. Doesn’t that make you feel great?

So yes, please take part. Or refer me to a great psychiatrist.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Never settle for anything less...

Well. Here it is. And maybe a little more of me than you wanted to see but hey, I don't have photo shop.
And those do happen to be my bumming around (pardon the pun) bottoms, so please forgive the plaid. It hurt like hell at that point, a few days after the 3 hour session, and leaning back or sitting down or wearing clothes or anything that involved moving my back was a real trial.

And never settle for anything less than butterflies, my friends.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Lazy Monday

Okay, so I'm not properly posting because I am sat staring at my phone willing it to ring.

I have been shortlisted and interviewed, shortlisted and interviewed again and now I am waiting to hear if one of these jobs will be offered to me.

I want them both very VERY much. Not least because I seem to be haemoraging the little money I brought back with me, but I am starting to get anxious. Although getting anxious staring at a beach is less disconcerting than getting anxious on a crowded Tube.

But also because as soon as I get a job, I can get a laptop. Which will mean I can edit this blog better, and add links because for some reason no links are working on it and it's frustrating because I can tell you about all the great stuff I'm reading but can't take you there. Until I changed my IP back to Mozilla, so now I can actually hold your hand, help you across the road and show you to the link.

So the whole point of this post was to say that the Texan links to a great piece, which also got my blood boiling.
I'm following revelations about Prescottgate on *Comment is Free* because I likes a bit of scandal, I does.

*Kottke* has a great piece about the film "The Bridge" and I'm looking forward to seeing "Live and Become." I'm also waiting to see Anne Michael's novel 'Fugitive Pieces' turned into a film, it is a hauntingly beautiful book.

I've also started training to do the Grouse Grind. I was bullied into it to prove a point and am too stubborn and pigheaded to back down. And I picked up my bike yesterday so get prepared to hear tales of me whizzing around Stanley Park with camera in hand. And a fairly heavy duty crash helmet.

No updates on the Actor, as we still can't seem to get it together and I made the executive decision not to meet him for drinks Friday night; as I was already martini'ed up to the eyeballs by the time we caught up with each other (well, it was almost midnight. I'm not that much a lush, really)
At least I hope he took The Gorgeous's drunken teasing *Emmmmmm... it's a booooo-oooy on the phone...* with good grace.

And I still can't find my camera cables, hence the inability to add purdy pictures to my blog. But I can check my email from my new phone, and there's also an MP3 player installed in the sexy little beast so it means I can avoid crazies on the bus now. I just can't pay the bill yet.

*This Fish* has a very funny piece about crazies as well. I've not managed to meet any new ones yet, maybe my big sunglasses and scowl are working.

If you've not yet heard of these guys, now you do. My old housemate's band has just been signed, so check them out.

And that's about all I have to say. The wind is howling outside, although Vancouver is basking in sunshine, and it is very very cold so I'm tucked up by the fireplace with Rosie the cat and my new phone. And my battered laptop. Living vicariously through this...