*Blip*

I just wanted to inform you that I am premenstrual (which is probably far too much information for my male readers but as this is a blip I'm afraid it has to be acknowledged) and as a result...

I am having an identity crisis.

Not to mention, I am frantically questioning what I want to do with my life.

I am not anamoured at all, nor am I motivated or stimulatd by my current job and it's only the fact it is paying the bills and allowing me to play that I have not shoved PIM's into faces on the "Can you bind this?" request and marched out the door. Whatever it was that I signed up for, it certainly wasn't to be an admin assistant to an office of alpha males. I have had to swallow my pride on several occassions, and bitten my tongue when orders are being barked at me or menial tasks dropped on my desk.

Okay. So I used to be Personal Assistant to the Editor in Chief of the best daily newspaper on the world wide web. (The Webbys are there to prove it)
We all have choices and I think I may have chosen unwisely this time. But we all need to pay the rent.

I also blame the film, "The Devil Wears Prada"on my ensemble today which I have to admit, I do love. Even if the IB's are a bit taken aback to the blatant use of accessories today. And the film, if you are a clothes junkie, fashion whore or media tart could be the greatest film of all times.

Well, in parts.

Other parts made me throw my hands in the air, look skywards and say *why oh why oh why*
a) Can't I have those Choos? b) Can that jacket/, that handbag, that scarf (I did spot my Vivienne Westwood which almost made me pee) not be mine?
c) Did they have to ruin a great story line by making the woman have to choose between man and career? Shouldn't we be able to have it all? Why does there always have to be a throw away ending?

So just to let you know, I am having another little meltdown. Although I know I should be patient about the fact I have only been back less than 3 months, I'm not that patient a person when it comes to my life and I really really don't know what I want to do next.

In the 3rd interview yesterday morning for the job I am covetting, I was asked what drove me, what inspired me, where did I see myself a year from now? And in that heartbeat, I froze. (and subsequently bollocks'ed the entire interview up, I'm sure of it)

What do I want to do with this great ole life of mine?
Schooling is an option, definitely and I'm looking at a variety of schools for Fall Term now. But then again, what do I want? Where do I see myself in 5 years? Looking at the big picture, it is actually an exciting prospect. But at the moment, it has triggered a severe bout of self doubt from some not so fun PMS.

One thing I am damned sure of though, I don't want to be here in a year with a knot in my stomach in case I make a mistake; regardless of the paid overtime.

And now that I have had my little outburst. whinged a little and shown you all my shallow side, I shall resume regular activity tomorrow.

Thank you.