I've been doing alot of mulling over the comments from my last post, especially this one by "b"
"The basic message I've been getting over the last couple of months with all of us is that we don't really know how to get what we want, any of us. I wonder if that's true of the wider community or it's just us few aimless ones wandering around on the outskirts. Sometimes it's very depressed watching all the sorted lovey couples.
I guess you never know how many arguments they're having though, and whether they've just settled. I still don't know whether we shouldn't just all settle, and whether we're being too ambitious. I'm the ambitious type though."
I'm intrigued and captivated again by this subject, as it's taken me a fair number of years to realise what it is I don't want, it's now a question of deciding what it is that I do want.
So then, what is it? That elusive quest for love? For companionship and the I do, but only on our terms?
Is compromise settling?
Is settling a compromise?
Interesting article about single life.
* I have been known to answer this question very simply by asking "Han or Luke"? I was always a Luke girl, aka: the spineless hero who whinged alot. The majority of the men I was attracted to at some point or another had the Luke complex (luckily without the incest issue) Other girlfriends have been Han girls, the rogue womanizer.
Monday, November 20, 2006
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In a particularly frustrated single period about 5 years ago, I actually wrote an opinion piece (about 3 pages) on this subject. I divided available men into 3 catgories: Peter Pan, Thurston Howell, and Rambo. However you divide them, we always tend to go after the same archetype.
I chase Peter Pan. Always.
pointed this way by la pix, i just read your last couple of posts. the comment regarding never really knowing another couples issues strikes me. we think we see around us people who have found the counterpart to their existence, when in fact, it's just another bunch of people trying to make something work. whether single or with someone... we're all just trying to give something a go that we've pinned our hopes on for all of our adulthood. i know a scary number of married couples right now who are freaking me out with their malaise. wishing they were single again. i know just as many single people wishing they had what these married people do. never settle. hold out. till all your relatives assume you're gay, and your mother questions your sanity. he'll come.
you could have corrected my bad grammar while you were about it, LMM!
I've been mulling it over a lot too. I'm not even sure I'm there yet with what I don't want, but I have no idea to get to what I do want, or quite what it is. As I say, it seems so easy for some, but I know it rarely is straightforward.
All I think we can do is keep trying, keep bashing away at it, and hope that some day something beautiful and unexpected will fall into our laps and that suddenly we'll wonder why we didn't always trust that it would sort itself out one day. We'll look back and the interim will seem full of meaning and destined by fate. I usually find that things that you desperately want and are not transpiring do tend to feel very unreal and far from reach until suddenly, without fanfare, they just happen.
Fingers crossed - but at least we are not all alone, even if single!
p.s. - thanks for the link and the han / luke conundrum is a difficult one. I'd say Han every day, but don't like womanisers - he has a secret heart of gold and is very thoroughly in love whereas Luke just has a pash on his sister....?!
Thanks Pixie, I loved it! I can pretty much base my entire life on Star Wars influences, it is sad. But true.
Welcome Ironika! My mother has already questioned whether I was gay in my early twenties. And my family is already bonkers ;o)
Apologies b, this was written when I was tired and distracted from yet another rubbish date, I'll re-edit, ha ha! I haven't given up believing that it will happen when I'm ready; in the meantime I am not living my life in wait. I just hope I'm not as easily distracted as I am now and miss it completely! I'm just not so sure I can handle yet another bad date anytime soon.
Winters: You are so correct. And I really don't need another reference to bearsex in my searches.
I'm a Han girl all the way. Lukes drive me insane w/ their whining. I'm the only one allowed to whine, thank you. But seriously.. I like the devilish charm, the sex appeal. Tho I still often get stuck w/ a metro Peter Pan.. I long for my ideal Han.
But where does Vader fall into all this? Blinded by love, far too passionate for his own good?
I wish I was Han Solo but am probably in the earnest Luke who needs a Obi Wan mentor and a mission like saving the princess mode although getting paid seems very important too.
Also would Han really be that cocky if he didn't have a 7ft Wookie who's got his back!
OMG - I just realized that I had the Han & Luke characters confused and reversed. In Star Wars, I always preferred Leah anyway. Uh Oh. Irony, of course, is that I *do* have a boyfriend. :)
Lady Miss: Check out my Oregon picture that shows the mermaids - I know it's hard to see. Click it big. I took it because it was beautiful BUT also because the blonde, right mermaid reminded me of you. :)
Hans or Luke?
Blech.
Neither.
There is someone on this earth
whose mission it is to find
you.
So just have fun in the meantime:)
Ah Devyl, now I can see the appeal of Han. I think as I got older, I realised that perhaps it was passion I desired, not just the stability. My exes have mostly all been archetypal Luke, with the passion factor was at an all time high of zero.
FB: Good point, not so sure where Vader fits in. He was the original Luke, I suppose.
Pixie: I can't see the mermaid pics very clearly ;o(
They look very cool - I love Oregon. I once escaped there for a few days.
Sophie: Thank you. I do look forward to meeting him, when the time is right. In the meantime, I shall continue to dance through the streets...
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