"I can't believe you met through a set up!"
She turns to her glass of wine and takes a sip.
"Well," she says, almost shamefully "I met my boyfriend in a bar!"
I walk past them, their upturned mouths laughing.
I shake my head. I have heard this same conversation over and over, with the words 'on the internet', 'through school' or 'at work' as substitutions.
I wonder, therefore, as I make my way through a crowded Main Street bar, where an acceptable place to meet one's beau is these days?
He is sat at the bar, a half empty pint in front of him. He is polite and serious, apologises that he is a bit tired.
"Hungover." He admits albeit sheepishly, a shy grin. Hungover or not, he is even better looking in the flesh.
I have to admit I had almost talked myself out of this date, citing a focus on school or that at 25, he is almost 7 years my junior as reasons to decline his invitation. Yet there I was, sat at the bar, engaged in conversation with an attractive, kind man. Questioning why in the hell Mme Mojo has decided to start her hibernation early this year and remain unawares of this gorgeous creature in front of us?
As the night passes, I realise it is because I am playing to a tough crowd. Although there are no uncomfortably long silences, he seems immune to my bantering humour.
These days, it appears that it takes much more than a cute smile to keep Mme interested, yet sometimes it's as simple as exchanging that witty banter.
I am, after all, a romantic. I want those butterflies, a little Frank Sinatra, and a whole lot of spark.
But am I setting the bar too high? Is this a realistic desire, after all?
Monday, November 13, 2006
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16 comments:
So getting back on the horse was not as good as it could be. ~grin~
Ha ha, exactly Indy!
Although I have been advised by numerous friends that sometimes sparks take time to develop, and so I should give him a second chance.
He is a great guy, so I think it will and if nothing I can hopefully make a friend, yes?
Somehow I got me a telephone number last week but tried speaking the industry standard 3 days later on the telephone but left a message...and now am unsure of what my next move should be.
I got the number at a party about a week ago...even if nothing happens at least i got a number.
Please advise.
Ta.
I'd give him a second chance. You can never get a fully rounded view of someone after one slightly wobbly date. Although the fact that he was hungover at the time doesn't bode awfully well in my humble opinion.
Ps. I very much like your blog; it's lovely and pretty and green!
Your only as old as the one you feel!
When i was bout 24 i fell for a woman who was 9 years older than me and she burnt me :-(
Finn: Hmmm, I'm very anti the 3 day rule. If I give someone my number, which I do very rarely, it's because I'd really like them to call. Soon.
But that's me, and my tack rack record doesn't seem to show that that is the winning formula either!
I say call her once more. If she doesn't reply, it's her loss ;o)
So, what about the rest of you? What do you think?
Timbo: Welcome!
Sadly I am the last person to ever look down on someone who is hungover on a date, I have done my fair share of hangovers and erm, dating me usually means you may end up with one as well!
PS: Thank you muchly!
Mushroom: Ha, I love it. I've never really been interested in younger men, but am starting to see the appeal!
And am sorry to hear about your burned heart ;o(
Right, she's not answering, I'm not leaving a message...that's that.
I have to say, I got pissed off with a guy the other day for calling, leaving a message, and saying in the message that he would call again, hence leaving me no choice than ignoring his call twice...
But then he was a total sleazebag, had left it over a week to call, and it would have been completely different if I'd thought he was a nice bloke. He didn't give me any option all evening when I met him, even when I went off with another guy to the dance floor he followed me up and tried to have a dance off! Wrong wrong wrong. I don't believe in rules though.
And LMM - I keep changing my mind on this one. When I do give them a second chance I often think afterwards that it wasn't worth it - and I think that when you're not interested it's often apparent even when you don't mean it to be, so it's very difficult to have a good second date when you don't have butterflies going at all. But on the other hand I've been converted a couple of times months or even years after a guy asked me out the first time and I rejected him... so you never know, and I often regret turning down opportunities.
Sorry, longest comment in the world ever. Issue close to my heart though as you know!
If I don't recognise the number I very rarely answer... altough if there is no message left, I always wonder who it was. Interetingly bonkers concept from LMM, and may also explain the sparsely decorated little black book at the moment!
I have emailed said young man in question, as he has been away working this past week with an open ended invitation. There is also the whole issue that he may also have felt the no sparkingness and therefore has already written it off.
Talk about confusing, how do men and women get to the hanging out stage anyways? Me thinks an awful lotta alcohol!
Best of luck Finn.
And 'B", a dance off?! A dance off?! I love it! Why don't we have more of those?
i am so very picky -
well, ahem - yes i am -
but he MUST write poetry and
....cook and....
be funny and...
very affectionate and cuddly -
and...
smart too...
and good looking.
(so i am not perfect)
I hate the idea of Rules and much prefer the British way of getting drunk-snogging-shagging-seeing one another etc. I have no concept of 'dating etiquette' and if I were single would probably get it all wrong by showing enthusiasm or something equally frowned upon!
LadyM, trust your own judgement and heart, it's the only one that matters right now.
I am always hanging out with women but never anything more than that!
I wonder how do i get to do more than just hang out!
Guess I'm not the kind to sweep a lady of her feet...:s
Just found the comment in regard to the cat on the chair, cool comment.
The picture is a literary reference in that it is 'The Owl and the Pussycat'. I stopped at painting in a pea green boat though...
The basic message I've been getting over the last couple of months with all of us is that we don't really know how to get what we want, any of us. I wonder if that's true of the wider community or it's just us few aimless ones wandering around on the outskirts. Sometimes it's very depressed watching all the sorted lovey couples.
I guess you never know how many arguments they're having though, and whether they've just settled. I still don't know whether we shouldn't just all settle, and whether we're being too ambitious. I'm the ambitious type though.
It all has to be there at the beginning for me. Sparks and chemistry. I've tried the dates where it isn't there and a complete no brainer. When conversation dries up, it's time to head off home.
I often think to myself that I will not settle.. ever.. and then I meet someone I like.. so many good qualities buuuuuut.. he drinks a little too much or his build isn't my ideal.. or I really don't like his smell. Seriously? His smell, you say.. And I say ashamed.. yes.. his smell. Sorry! I don't mean to not like those things.. but goddamn.. there wouldn't be romantic movies and phone sex lines and online dating if the rest of the world wasn't looking for it too. You an only keep hoping that you know what is right for you.. and if you don't, that you get a sign that helps you.. like him and the no wit thing. Uh.. hi, you need banter girl. I'd say that's a big neon sign if anything is. :)
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