On the phone to my mother last night.
"How are things?"
Fine, I say. I know she is sad, I know that she is worrying half way across the world.
Silence.
And there it is.
"Before I go to sleep, I worry about you. You and The Gorgeous. I worry that neither of my girls are settled."
I hold my breath.
"But I know that you will be."
I don't know how to respond to that. She sounds so certain that I will settle at some point. Find some nice man and be happy. As if being happy is justified by me having a partner.
I admire her unfaltering belief that this will happen, I am after all, a woman.
And I am expected to do just that.
But how can I be so sure that my match is out there? My clairvoyant has banged on about this bloody emperor for 2 years now, teasing me with his presence, her assurance of his commitment in my life.
Grand, I think. He's tall. He's handsome. And he's a bit rugged.
But what happens if he never appears in my life?
What happens if I never meet someone who can keep me interested for longer than 3 weeks?
And is that really something I should be worrying about?
Friday, October 28, 2005
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6 comments:
Welcome back...I think I exhausted myself with all those posts of mine, I want to say the right thing...I could tell you he's out there when you least expect it etcetera but then you'd hate me for the cliches...will have to think carefully...
no cliches here. its like having religious faith. it will happen. but there is no proof. and there are no more rules as to how, when or why. so enjoy yourself and create a life you are proud of in the meantime. by pride, i mean have as much fun as possible, ie sassy proud.
my take, for what it's worth; don't worry about it and enjoy every minute of your life. Married people envy unmarried people and vice versa; the grass is always greener, so they say...
i agree with Cathy totally. Don't think about it. You'll find him. Have fun, that's the best way to find him.
Being in a couple isn't all its cut out to be it seems:
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,17909-1846653,00.html
Although I wonder what the author's status is...
There's only so many times going to the movies by yourself and asking for a table for one, one can take...
Thanks for that link Finn, very interesting!
I think what I was trying to say was not that I was desperate to meet my partner, I'm doing okay on my own at the moment, but just a general "What if?" . If I do, I do, if I don't, I don't. And then pity my poor mother whose daughters tended to choose career and fun over husband and child!
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