It turns out we didn't have all that time after all. September moves into October, leaving behind stagnant beginnings. And somehow, instead of a sadness I would have felt before, I breathe deeper, feel more relieved, put one foot in front of the other, make the decision based on what I need and what I want, no longer allowing chance to play my hand.
Esoteric is blunt. My problem, he says if he can be so bold, is that I write about it and in doing so, glorify the moment.
Whatever it may be, it becomes something more, something more tangible than sometimes all that it is.
Sat on white couches in Bird's office, I am no longer afraid of others' thoughts or opinions, no longer feel prisoner to expectations unwillingly placed. For the first time, I can feel myself, raw and alive, under my skin.
Bird is an unexpected treasure, he is teaching me the basics of breathing, how to connect body and mind, how to be in the moment. It sounds elementary but for me, these lessons remained unlearned far too long.
"...and i don't want to be your regret, id rather be your cocoon
so please
let's take these broken hearts, and use
lets use only what we really need
you know we only have so little, so please
take these broken hearts and leave..."
Cocoon, Jack Johnson
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4 comments:
I love this. Thank you for sharing this sparkle. I've tucked some of the extra glitter dust into my backpack and am taking it back home with me to try to stuff into my head.
Hugs to you.
xx
P
I don't think writing about it makes it worse or more than it was. For writers like us, it's therapy. The good and the bad. A positive form of expression. If he doesn't get it, bring him to me.. trust me, he'll get it after my 'explanation'..
xoxox
I kind of agree and disagree. No, not worse or better, but quite possibly inflated. It's what you do when writing; take the essence of life, and along the way, perhaps you can persuade yourself that there was more than there was, or at least that it was more meaningful.
But what's the harm in not letting those moments become submersed in the every day. Live them to the full; and if that means writing them up, do it. Life is what you make of it, it's all perception at the end of the day, isn't it? Better a few glorious moments than long lasting tedium, is what I say.
Hi Winters, lovely to hear from you!
Thank you Pixie, am happy to have been able to share some fairy dust. Any time, my love x
Miss D and the b: I agree, I've realised how much I write everything at some point in my head, and how I have always used writing as my major form of expression. It is completely therapeutic, and is so much a part of me. It is now that it gets from head to erm, well blog and then to you lovely people. Thank you for sharing ;o)
Love love love,
LMM x x
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